No Crab Mentality in the Neighborhood

Per-nal

Zerayn D.

A great neighbor is a good friend, like a safety net that catches you when you’re falling. They’re a shoulder to lean on, a cheerleader when you succeed, and a helping hand when you need it, without expecting anything in return. But a good neighbor also knows where to draw the line. They understand that not everything is their business, and that a little discretion goes a long way. Gossiping about your neighbor’s personal issues is an abhorrence. A neighbor who knows how to balance support with privacy is a true gem.

One of the most toxic Filipino cultural norms that I find exhausting and challenging to navigate is crab mentality, often referred to as “crabs in a bucket”. This is a phenomenon that usually occurs in a Filipino neighborhood. This term is used to describe people (neighbors) who are overwhelmed of envy or jealousy. When faced with someone else’s success, they try to undermine that person’s efforts. They do it in sneaky and relentless gossiping. In a worst case scenario, it eventually leads to defamation: a seemingly innocent rumor can quickly turn into slander or libel.

When people start spreading rumors and gossip, it is like a nasty virus that can spread from your neighborhood all the way to your workplace. And when that happens, it can look like everyone’s networking. As a result, the insidious nature of “bureaucracy” or “cronyism” rears its ugly head in the workplace, where people with great potential and strong performance are often overlooked and labeled as “rebels”. The dirty politics of favoritism and nepotism can cause talented individuals to be denied the recognition and rewards they deserve, simply because they do not conform to the unwritten rules of the workplace. This breeds a culture of fear and resentment, where people are more concerned with self-preservation and climbing the ladder than with working together to achieve success.

Growing up, I believed most people were kind because of my experiences in church and seeing people act kindly towards one another. However, as I grew older and ventured beyond the church walls, I encountered the harsh reality of crab mentality. The jealousy and negativity this mindset breeds is both exhausting and destructive, leading to figurative and literal “crab-like” behavior. This crab mentality is a great barrier to true collaboration and productive relationships.

With that I strongly believe that a good neighbor does not display a “crab-like” behavior.

“…Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” Proverbs 27:10

Daily writing prompt

What makes a good neighbor?

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